If you’re going to release something, fine. If you AREN’T going to release something, fine. But don’t tell me you WILL release something, and then NOT release the something you said you would release when you SAID you’d RELEASE IT!
I’m looking around. Maybe I’m not looking in the right spot. No, I’ve looked everywhere. I’m pretty sure I don’t see “Left 4 Dead 2: The Sacrifice,” cloaked in virginal robes, waiting for me to whisk it away. I’m all saddled up here, and I’ve got no maiden to deflower. Okay…that is the strangest metaphor for DLC any human being has ever crafted, but I’m sticking with it. This is how upset I get when you don’t give me what you promised, Microsoft.
Not to play favorites, but I highly doubt this is Valve’s doing. I know they technically could be responsible, but who’s more likely to tell me a lie: a developer that regularly dumbo-drops free content on you and doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “failure,” or the company responsible for inventing the Red Ring of Death? I’m just saying.
I had all my friends gathered. I had the whole evening cleared of meaningful activities. That’s what you have to do to get the full “Left 4 Dead” experience; it’s not the same playing with strangers, and it’s definitely not the same playing alone. Noon came, noon went. Two pm came, two pm went. Five, seven, and now ten if you’re on the Eastern Seabord. In two hours, Microsoft will cease to be tardy and embrace the full meaning of the word “LIAR.” I’m going to have a “YOU LIE Party,” where I sit alone with a bright green hat and cry while I beat a Pinata rendered to Major Nelson’s likeness filled with MS Points.
I even went to Gamestop and BOUGHT A GIFT CARD to be ready for this. I was here, ready to pay you cash money, and you couldn’t even meet your own deadline. At this point, even if you do get the damned thing out before midnight, I have a freaking life. I can’t just clear out my Wednesday too. In fact, if it comes out within the next few hours, it’s worse than if it just got pushed, because now it’s sitting there and I have no one to play with it. Salt, meet wound.
Here’s what I want from you people: discount. Push it back a day or two, drop the price tag. Then everything is forgiven. The bloody thing should be free anyway, you’re making us look like idiots coughing up 560 points for it.
But of course you won’t do that. You wouldn’t be you if you’d do that, Microsoft. Sometimes you make me so angry I want to punch my Xbox 360, just on the off chance you’d feel it.
