I want to like “Minecraft” so much, but I’ve put something like a dozen hours into it so far, and no dice. Help me, Dear Reader. Explain to me how this game is supposed to work. Every time I pick it up, I find myself hitting trees for five hours just to get four pieces of wood, but then I have to make them into planks before they can do anything, but then the planks need to become sticks (how does THAT work?) so I can make an axe, but then the axe breaks when I use it at all, so then I make a shovel, but the shovel only works on gravel which as far as I can tell so far is useless…
…And then I quite honestly get frustrated and log into “Diablo III.” Sigh.
I’m disappointed in myself. “Minecraft” has been a game I’ve held on a pedestal from afar ever since it came out, touting it to skeptics as proof that games can be constructive and enlightening. Every single friend of mine who’s picked it up has fallen in love with it, but when I beg them to teach me their ways, they seem unable. “It’s about building things,” they say.
Okay, so I start trying to build things, and fail. “Well, you need to make a crafting table first,” they say. All right, so I make one of those, but now all I seem able to construct are planks. “Oh, and a furnace, and a shovel, and an axe, and you’ll probably need a boat if you want to get anywhere.” So I…kind of do all of those things, but just when I’m about to start building, I get, “Oh, night time is coming. We have to hide from the skeletons. Did you build a shelter?” A what? The who? Skeletons? I thought this was a game about building things!
“Well, it is, but you have to hide from the skeletons who come to kill you.” I…you’ve lost me. You’ve completely lost me. It’s like “The Sims,” except every 48 hours they send a flash flood to wipe out your house. There’s just too much information here, and no linear path that allows me to process it. I feel like I’m playing dodgeball by myself against a team of 12 people; there’s just too much coming at me, and I’m too overwhelmed to know how to react.
It doesn’t help that the “tutorial” subscribes to the “Didyougetthatokaygoodbyeforever” school of teaching. I’ve always had a hard time with learning from text boxes, and this is one game where that bears itself out more than ever. I need an integrated tutorial, something that slowly builds layers and guides me through the proper application of each tool. This is something “Starcraft II” achieved with unparalleled mastery, not just in the campaign, but in the ingeniously conceived Challenges that teach you the importance of micro and unit balance.
I’m not giving up on this one. I will love “Minecraft,” no matter how much effort it takes. This thing is a force for good in the world, it’s the kind of game I imagine we’ll play in Heaven, with Jesus Christ leaning over our shoulder saying, “Ooh, nice roller coaster.” In a world of grim, military shooters and nuns with bondage gear and machine guns, “Minecraft” is a beacon of hope. Or so I tell myself. But right now, if given the choice, I’d go for the nuns.
_AA
grabbed by the midnight hands
1 Comment
I feel the same way about Dwarf Fortress