Top April Fools’ Day Jokes We Wish Were True

Fortunately for those of us that are particularly forgetful (this guy!), this year April Fools’ Day fell on a Sunday. AFD is usually more subdued when it falls on a weekend (probably so companies don’t have to worry about mobilizing an entire PR department on a weekend in case of a fiasco), so yours truly only got fooled a couple times. Man, you’d think as often as it happens to me, that the word ‘gullible’ actually was in the dictionary. I’m surprised that it’s not, really.

Either way, this year still saw some gems, and like every year, a few things came up that made me say “Awww, but wouldn’t that be AWESOME if it were true?!” Here’s the best of the pack, the things we wish were not jokes, but real!

ThinkGeek’s Fus Roh Dah Hoodie

It’s a hoodie with a cloth ramhorn helmet, and it plays all 20 dragonshouts on command. What more could a Skyrim fan want?! ThinkGeek has a history of actually releasing their most popular April Fools’ products, so there’s a very real possibility this one will exist!

Reddit Timeline

On the flip side, count this one in the “not bloody likely” category. Reddit introduced a new view called Reddit Timeline which purported to be able to not only display a history of posts in a timeline fashion, but also to display the ENTIRE HISTORY of all posts that ever existed and ever will exist THROUGHOUT TIME. Imagine the memes that would have risen up with the crucifixion of Christ. Or the image generators that come about when our sun goes nova. Good times, right? Personally, I just want to see the furor, backlash, and internet revolution that will inevitably rise when people finally get to see the ending of Final Fantasy XVIII.

Blizzard Announces Edutainment Games for Kids

Maybe it’s the impending parenthood in me, but Blizzard’s “announcement” of educational games based on Blizzard properties are things I would TOTALLY buy for my impending kids. Who wouldn’t want to learn keyboard skills with “Zergling Teaches Typing”? Or about old-timey survival hardships in “The Westfall Trail”? And although he’s not a moderately hot chick in a bright red trenchcoat and hat, I’d still go searching for the old Horadric coot in “Where in Sanctuary is Deckard Cain?”

Analysis Reveals Greedo Actually Shot First

And you know why, Internet? Because this has gone on long enough. In an expose by Wired’s Geek Dad, it is revealed that Greedo beat Han to the trigger by microseconds. And sure, the article is tagged April Fools. But it would finally put this thing to rest instead of the metaphorical decaying-zombie Rodian we have walking around now; it’s been back and forth between Lucas and the rest of the community on this for decades, and I don’t care who wins as long as somebody shuts up about it.