My Thoughts on Battlefield 3

As many of you know, I am not the biggest fan of games where you play as a floating gun or hands holding a gun.  I know this is supposed to immerse you in the game, or some bullshit, but I always feel taken out by the fact that the developers are usually going for ultimate realism, and that always falls short since it is not possible at the current time.  You see how much I mean it by the run on sentence.

Save for sports games, I like games that take place in worlds that I could never go.  Combine that with the fact that 2D games since the NES still look beautiful to this day and many 3d games look like a pee and poop shake, and you have me thinking about how the games have no staying power.  If that is true then are they really good in the first place, or are they just impressive tech demos?

I try to keep an open mind with all genres, and there have been a few FPS that I have loved: the Half Life series, Portal series, Metroid Prime series, and Battlefield Bad Company 2.  Does that last one stand out for you?  I bought Bad Company 2 on a whim when it was drastically on sale on Steam.  I played it and absolutely loved it.  Everything came together with the gameplay, visual design, and sound design; I was truly immersed.  This was the straw that broke the camels back and I realized that I could enjoy the most popular genre of the day.

That brings us to the present, Dr. Noh and I played the Battlefield beta every second that we possible could.  This game has the best of the Battlefield franchise, and has the best feel of any FPS I have played.  And jets.  I like the jets.  I had already preordered the game after it won every fucking award at E3 last year, as I figured it would at least be worth playing.  I pre downloaded Battlefield 3, and was ready the second the game was available to play.  There was one problem, there’s a worthless minigame that you must play at the very beginning, every time you play.  That game is called Battlelog.

Battlelog is a fucksaw, and I want it dead.  It lets you in to play, and then bam, you are kicked out of the game.  Why, you ask?  You have a good ping, no hax0rs, and you weren’t hoarding the vehicles.  It is because of a delightful little bug in Battlelog that won’t autoupdate punkbuster for you, or even let you know that yours is out of date, so you are left thinking that every goddamn administrator in the world personally wants to poop on your face.  I know, its fucking disgusting.  Thankfully, there is now a way to fix that, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I have to go to a web page to play any multiplayer match, or the campaign.

I’m sure a big reason for this gross travesty is piracy.  The obvious fact is that people will pirate it anyway.  Due to ignorance, fucking the man, or apathy people will always pirate games.  What Battlelog does is punish those that actually buy the game legitimately, which makes people want to pirate your games all the more.  “Should I buy the game, or should I pirate it?”  The memory part of the brain lights up with PTSD over Battlelog, and we breed a whole new generation of pirates.  As an aside, I don’t want to get into a huge argument over this, but by pirating you are stealing from the developers, not the suits.  The suits will make whatever makes them money, and the people that play shitty games don’t know how to pirate, so have fun playing Barbie Horse Adventure.  Remember that programmer that doesn’t sleep for days at a time to make a game, or the designer that risks his well being to follow his dream, and the fact that people like Cliffy B are the exception to the rule.  Most of these people do not make that much money.  Moving on.

Battlefield 3 rocks.  If you like multiplayer FPS, get it, now.  The campiagn is ho hum, but you aren’t buying a Battlefield game for that anyway.  Endless hours of shooting people in the face await you, and I encourage you to enter this magical realm with Dr. Noh and I.  Hit us up so we can do some voice chat and surround some bitchez.