Dr. Noh's Most Terrifying NES Games

I have no balls. I’ve never had them. As an adult, I am just as easily spooked out by things as I was when I was a child. It may be difficult to imagine 8-bit NES graphics scaring anyone, but I found myself scared shitless on many occasions. In the spirit of Halloween, here’s a few examples of why brown pants are handy (even when you’re shitless)…

Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde

This game terrified me many nights, but I couldn’t keep myself from playing it because it was very challenging. As Dr Jekyll, you walk through levels at a geriatric pace while townsfolk attack you from all sides. For every successful attack, Dr. Jekyll becomes closer to transforming into Mr Hyde. Once you become Mr Hyde, you are surrounded by a terrible world of flying creatures, skeletons, and other nightmare enducing pixelated horrors a child could experience. I never beat this game because is was hard as hell, but maybe it was because it terrified me.

Phantom Fighter

This game is actually apparently based off a foreign horror/comedy film called Mr. Vampire. If the film is as terrifying as the game, I never want to watch it. The opening intro of Phantom Fighter is one of the most pants pissing moments I can remember in gaming. I would hurriedly skip the intro and try not to think about the possessed face staring at me in the most creepy way. These possessed Kyonshis are actually Chinese versions of zombies. Instead of chasing after your brains, they hop around in the most awkward and creepy way, killing the shit out of you.

Super Mario Bros. 2

This is one of the brightest and happiest games ever, but it also contains one of the darkest and most terrifying enemies I’ve ever encountered: Phanto. Whenever you pick up a key needed to unlock a door, Phanto, a flying, possessed mask of some sort, is always present, guarding the key. As you pick up the key, Phanto awakens and his one any only goal is to kill you. As long as you are holding the key, he will terrorize you. If you leave the place where you found the key, he will follow you. The only way to get rid of Phanto is to get rid of the key. This for me as a child was torturous. I loved this game, but I dreaded even looking at Phanto.