True to fashion of the gaming industry, we were hit with a major non-news news story today. The news would be if the trailer actually hit. Rockstar, instead, told us that next week we will see the trailer to their newest record shattering creation, Grand Theft Auto 5, and then ran off tittering uncontrollably. Such a cock tease, you’d think they were a company run by Mormon school-girls. Well, at least they didn’t release a trailer for the trailer like some studios seem to enjoy doing. You know, the ones who enjoy masturbatory exercises in redundancy. *cough* GOW3 *cough*
At first when I went to Google Jack Thompson, I accidentally typed in Jack Burton. No, I'm sure he's down with some GTA. Its all in the reflexes.
We all wondered where this thing was at E3. Now we know, and it really seems more obvious now. This announcement came right on the heels of the GTA 3 10th Anniversary, which many sites observed. Also, as noted on his blog, the news comes on the 3rd anniversary of Jack Thompson getting disbarred. Bet he loves that, the prick.
So, yeah, that’s it. I just had to jump on the bandwagon and proclaim the non-news news to the hills. Come back on 11-2 when we undoubtedly post and pick-apart the real trailer in true nerd fashion.
Dustin Hall is a megalomaniac from the small town of Baldwin in Kansas, now wandering the deserts of Las Vegas in search of new victims. He was probably conceived at a Van Halen concert and raised on a diet of sci-fi and horror movies, fed to him from a disturbingly young age by his uncle. A gamer from a young age, Dustin grew up on a diet of Atari 2600 and NES. He worked for 10 years as the manager of a game shop, and has owned and played nearly every system known to man. Somehow, this all led to a career in writing and collecting unemployment checks. He is also a contributor for the film site BrutalAsHell.com, and is working with PMP Productions on making a few horror films of his own.
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Thanks for the horrible memories of Jack Burt0n on the game show.