Hey Playstation owners. First of all, I’m disgusted to count myself among you. We’re a sad and miserable lot of Godless communists. Second of all, I’m sure you’ve noticed with the same sense of childlike wonder I have that PSN is politely declining to render services I pay good money for. Be reassured, a lot of people are getting this message right now, and have been for at least the last two hours. There’s nothing you can do, it’s not your fault, just bite down and wait for it to pass.

Have you ever wondered what code 80710A07 means, or the code after that? Hit the jump and I’ll write up a list. These handy combinations of numbers and letters will inexplicably make it okay that you’re not doing a thing you’re supposed to be doing. Enjoy while you wait for PSN to stop going all SkyNet on you.

80710A07: rip out this bad boy when you told her you’d wear a condom, and then you didn’t.

80710A08: use this one if you hit another car on the freeway while sexting an 800 number.

80710A09: ignoring the ship upgrades all the way through “Mass Effect 2,” then watching helplessly while your love interest bites the dust

80710A10: suggesting that Tom Cruise is gay

80710A11: raid-wiping

80710A12: watching Rebecca Black’s “Friday” from beginning to end

80710A13: having gay sex with Tom Cruise

80710A14: believing in the power of your dreams

80710A15: messing with Texas

80710A16: red-ringing your Xbox 360 while you watch “Ghost with a Teeny Bikini” and/or “The Good, The Bad and the Beautiful” on Netflix Instant for the 50th time

80710A17: buying a Playstation 3

80710A18: purchasing “Portal 2” on the Xbox 360, as opposed to any other platform at all.

80710A19: thinking that Glenn Beck makes some good points sometimes

80710A20: shooting at everyone but the Doctor in TF2

80710A21: peeing on a police officer

80710A22: having inappropriate thoughts at the zoo about the animals

80710A23: being a holla-back girl

80710A24: checking a gift horse in the mouth

80710A25: paying money to watch “Scream 4”

80710A26: using an Albert Einstein quote on your Facebook wall about the power of imagination/dreams

80710A27: Zerg-rushing on “Starcraft II,” but telling everyone on TeamSpeak that you “totally don’t Zerg rush”

80710A28: same as 80710A06

–AA

move for me, i’ll move for you

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14 Comments

  1. I have been getting this error message for the past two days. Is the network itself down? or are they just blocking certain accounts ? The PSN is a joke, it’ so fragile, it rarely works properly. So are they people that are getting this message screwed? or is it a temp. thing?

  2. No one’s sure at the moment, Amy. Sony released a statement saying it could continue for another day or two. Some are theorizing that it COULD be related to that anonymous group of hackers that threatened to down the PSN a while back.

    You are not screwed, though. There’s nothing wrong with your account. The network is down because THEY are screwing up.

  3. Not really, I keep it in a clean airflow situation with no obstructions, play it in pretty small intervals, and I don’t even leave it on standby when I’m done.

    Statistically, however, you are correct. The behavior of mine is a little unusual. But frankly I find the RROD, which I’ve only encountered once in spite of playing my 360 rigorously for as long as its existed, to be a relatively forgettable problem. Especially when taken in consideration with Xbox Live, which I find to be a vastly superior service to PSN.

    Oh, and my PSN is still down.

  4. Still down.

    This is exactly why I pay for Xbox Live. My brother can’t even play co-op on Portal 2 with me on his PS3 in the other room because PSN is down. My brother and his friend couldn’t play MW2 co-op together with two PS3s sitting right next to each other.

    It is a really lame situation. The only thing more disappointing is their lack of news updates. All they’ve done is say “We were hacked. Now we’re taking an unspecified amount of time to harden our network against future attacks.”

    Gee, thanks. I’m really glad I just bought Dungeon Hunters so I could play it by myself.

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