Speaking of jumps, I recently made the jump from casual online play to
the competitive realm, participating in the Project Gotham “Manuals
Masters” tournament over Xbox Live. The whole thing was a lot like
losing your virginity: it’s awkward, you don’t perform well, and it’s
over way too soon. Not to say that my performance was completely
flaccid; I did qualify 49th
out of about three thousand entrants. I was simply overmatched, going
up against World Cyber Games champions, guys who’ve made more money
during a single tournament than I’ve made in all my 20 years. Words
like omnipotent and transcendent are completely justified when describing their in-game abilities.
But my elimination in the quarterfinals wasn’t the real disappointment;
I never expected to go all the way. No, what really disappointed me
was seeing certain high-level players suffer cases of road rage and
using cheating tactics
to get ahead. I had always believed – naively – that the highest
players wouldn’t make use of such below-the-belt moves in competition.
But despite the high-minded principles, my McLaren SLR has the dented
quarter panels and missing door mirrors to prove that I got checked
into the wall twice.
Cry me a fucking river, you’re thinking, but I’m not trying to
bitch/whine/moan about my loss. It just came as an unscheduled
reminder that cockbiting artards exist on all levels. They’re
everywhere.
So keep that one in mind as I climb down off my soapbox, and I’ll see you in the game
