The rest are as follows
http://www.chaosphere.com/blathu/macsuck.html wrote:1. Make icons bigger (because they're far too uninvasive right now). Make them photo-realistic (they've got the hardware for it, use it up!). Make them stay in your face (who would actually want to hide an icon?).
2. Make all of the intrinsic apps in the Mac world one big app (to avoid clutter).
3. Duplicate the design philosophy of the Windows explorer and elminate your normally bearable Finder. Use multiple panes to display files and folders, though, and stay away from convenient hierarchial listings (no expanding, no collapsing. Always on, all the time!).
4. Continue to sink more energy into "Sherlock", Apple's grotesque replacement for the Find feature (because you really need to burn several megabytes of RAM at a time in order to find a file on your computer).
5. Create a "One-True-Addressbook" and shaft anyone who tries to use something else (Can you say, Outlook?).
6. Make Quicktime something that you just can't ignore (Apple Executive: "I know what we need! Movies everywhere! Put them in the interface, somehow!").
7. Jump on the OpenGL bandwagon as opposed to incorporating DirectX-style i/o. (Apple Executive: "Hey, it's cheap!")
8. Create a "One-True-Email-Client" and shaft anyone who tries to use something else. (Can you say, Outlook?)
9. Incorporate a preview feature (like Win98/2K) for images and other files within the Finder, in an effort to slow down the process of clicking from one thing to the next. (Apple Executive: "Our goal: Make them wait!")
10. Make the text editor suck even more. Make it the default editor for *everything*. (Apple Executive: "How can we build on the weaknesses of TeachText?")
11. Make the default document format PDF. (Apple Executive: "We're licking Adobe's balls, 'cause without PageMaker and Photoshop, we're fucked.")
12. Make "StickyNotes" get in your face and stay there. (Apple Executive: "People aren't using them because they can hide them.")
13. Complicate the once wonderfully simply screen-shot feature by making it a separate app with tons of bells and whistles that you just don't need. (Apple Executive: "Why not add a key to the keystroke to automatically resize the image to 193x63?")
14. Throw all of this together with bits and pieces of the Mach and FreeBSD kernels, steal the memory-manager from 4.4 BSD and call it a "Next Generation OS". (Apple Executive: "Let's be sure to include Unix's friendly and useful error messages! We want core dumps!")
15. Call it "Unix-Savvy" because it supports a "POSIX-style file system", NFS (something even Unix people shy away from), FTP and Telnet. Make it really vague as to what would happen if you actually attempted to telnet into an OS X box. (Apple Executive: "You opened the box...we came!")
16. Create three new kinds of applications. One called "Classic" (which is a regular old application like you have today). One called "Carbon" (which uses features of something called "Aqua" which, apart from giving you big icons, has something to do with "looking like water"). One called "Cocoa" (which Apple doesn't really talk about all that much). Classic, Carbon and Cocoa. Where's "Crap", "Crud" and "Crummy"? (Apple Executive: "Built on the Stars Wars principle: C3-PO = 3 C's Piss you Off!")
17. Make menus slightly transparent so you can see behind them. Useful feature, that! (Apple Executives: "Just wait until they try to use a menu when there's text underneath it!")
18. Quote: "Amazingly, Macintosh applications - some with roots back to the debut of Macintosh in 1984 - can run on this completely modern operating system, with changes to only about 10% of the program itself. The other 90% is taken care of by Apple in the operating system." Which means: "If your programs don't work, all you need to do is edit the source!" Hey! It is Unix after all!
19. Quote: "Beyond Carbon, which takes today's apps into the future, Cocoa provides developers with an advanced object-oriented programming environment for building new next-generation applications. You can bet on hearing more from us on this subject, too." Translation: "Even we don't really know what the fuck Cocoa is. Some manager thought we needed another 'C' word, so we're still working out the details."
20. Quote: "Classic apps don't get the gorgeous new Aqua interface, and if they crash, they may make other Classic apps crash, too. So Apple is Carbonizing our Classic Mac OS 9 apps, such as AppleWorks." I see! So, it's not really protected memory, just kinda protected! But hey, at least we've got AppleWorks again. I mean, I don't know what I would have done if I never had to deal with AppleWorks again!
21. Quote: "We started out with two design goals for our new user interface, Aqua: create an operating system that's appealing to look at, and make it a pleasure to use." My question: Are either of these goals accomplished by re-sizing icons to 128x128, making menus transparent, throwing wacky buttons everywhere and turning the whole interface into some shade of blue? And I really like how you appear to trounce your awsome display hardware with fluid morphs when opening folders, making the display look like something out of a James Cameron flick.
22. Quote: "The Apple aesthetic - the same design sensibility that gave the world the iMac, iBook, Power Mac G4 and PowerBook - inspires the Mac OS X interface." This is really all I needed to hear about your new interface.
23: Quote: "Through the open source model [of Darwin, the OS X kernel], Apple engineers and the open source community collaborate to create better, faster and more reliable products for our users." Translation: "We can't build operating systems. Open source the project and let someone else do it."
24: Quote: "The Darwin 1.0 source code includes preliminary support for Intel, allowing developers to begin bringing Darwin to the Intel platform." Great! That means I can fuck up *my* computer too!
Macintosh: The Cutting Edge of Obsolescence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Every once in a while I get a message from some Mac fan who seems to be very angry about this. Also, I've discovered, someone has copied this page and sent it around as a forward (and I must say, that alone gives me a perverse sense of delight), thereby increasing its exposure.
The bulk of the messages I get about this page indicate that most readers find it pretty funny, just like I did when I wrote it. Other people, let's call them "losers", feel the need to tell me how wrongeddy, wrongeddy, wrong I am in thinking the way I do. They go to great lengths to prove me wrong. Many of them use virtually the same arguement, so there must be something to it.
Statements Proving That I'm Wrong:
"You're wrong."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"You are an idiot."
"Bill Gates can suck my dick."
A recent email message informed me that since I didn't like Macs, I would probably be happy using "a 386 with dos". I guess this is all part of the whole "Think Different" thing, I don't know.
The fact of the matter is this: I hate all operating systems. Every one of them. Why? Because every operating system ever written gets in your way. Operating systems prevent you from doing your work. Think about it. Windows users have to deal with Microsoft "standards" on a regular basis, and often need to resort to Microsoft development tools if they want to write software on a Windows box.
Mac users have to deal with a mind-numbingly grotesque lack of software, ugly proprietary hardware and (until now) a code base that hadn't been effectively updated since 1984.
Linux users have to play the "Which version of the kernel is compatible with this version of the libraries that I need to run the current version of foo program?", and a similar lack of software, although this situation is getting slowly better.
I use a PC because I have the largest amount of choice as to which operating system I can run on it. Unix, Linux, BeOS, Plan 9, etc. With a machine from Apple, you are pretty limited in terms of what OS you can run. Last I knew, even using MacBSD you had to load up MacOS first.
I run Windows because most of the software I want to use requires it. Although I often dual-boot with some version of Unix or Linux because Windows gets in my way more often.
I cannot use a Macintosh to meet my needs. Period. I've tried. I used a Mac for years and then I had the misfortune of having to do something really useful with one. I ended up having to use SoftPC to emulate a 286 so that I could accomplish my goal. Amazingly enough, I've heard some Mac fans actually cite this as proof that Macs can serve my purpose! Apparently, emulating another OS is considered the standard practice when you want to do something on a Mac other than use Photoshop, at least as far as these people are concerned.
Maybe someday Macs will let me do everything I want to do, but I continue to doubt it. They had a shot, but then they blew it. It's a classic example of a company that met with incredible success very early on, helped propell the world into a new age, then promptly dropped the ball.
