How Nintendo’s Newest Can Get Its Groove Back

It has begun. The rumors, the speculation, the excitement. Unofficial confirmation has landed the Wii 2 announcement firmly on the doorstop of E3, and the intarwebs are rife with discussion. What’s a highly-successful video game company to do, to win back the hardcore audience it has lost over the past two generations?

The answer? Fight the fuck back. Take back the night. Dominate the competition. Form your own colloquial phrase depicting total victory.

Let’s face it, people. Sure, the Wii has moved a metric shitton of units, but it’s moved those units to people that would not have owned a gaming system before. Middle-aged empty-nesters, the elderly, preschoolers. The key 18-25 demographic, with the exception of the died-in-the-wool Mario and Zelda fans of years past, have largely overlooked the Wii with its Chicken Shoots and Carnival Gameses.  Certain exceptions such as House of the Dead Overkill and No More Heroes have kept it in the periph, but your average just-out-of-college gamer has found most of its gaming income spent on the 360 and the PS3. Turns out Nintendo was right when they said they weren’t competing with Microsoft and Sony anymore.

But now, according to reports, Nintendo wants back in the game, and they’re getting ready to put their quarter on the bottom of the screen by unveiling the successor to the Wii at their big pre-E3 conference. If anyone can re-enter the arena, it’s the big N, but they’re going to have to buy themselves a new pack of gum to chew before they can kick some ass. The same old stale gum just won’t cut it anymore.

There’s all sorts of articles out on the web right now about the rumors and speculation, but this is not one of those articles. What we’re going to cover, dear reader, is what Nintendo is going to have to do to be viable in the main gaming market once again. If the House that Miyamoto built misses out on even one of these crucial elements, they will be very hard-pressed indeed to win the day. Details after the jump.

Graphics

The grapevine says that the new system (codenamed Project Cafe, I know, WTF right?) will have graphics that are comparable to the PS3 and 360. This rumor is going to have to be true, if not wrong in favor of better graphics. Nintendo needs to show that it has something to bring that is at least comparable to what was released 5 YEARS AGO in order to appear viable in this market. Let’s face it, the majority of the market looks at graphics as an indicator of a great game, and even though some of us may disagree with that fact, Nintendo needs to acknowledge that this is the way of the now-dominant American market. Without it, the system will look dated and obsolete; you can get away with that for children and the elderly, but that 18-25 demographic is a picky lot. That being said, there’s one other area Nintendo will have to be aware of when beefing up its graphics.
And let us not forget that 3D is the big up-and-comer in the entertainment market. This isn’t nearly as much of a necessity, but being able to support 3D games on compatible TVs would give it a little added oomph in the marketplace. Even people who don’t own a 3D TV will take this into consideration when weighing their gaming dollar, because they’d all like to have one someday.

Price

Nintendo cannot simply come in with a PS3/360-graphics-level machine and charge the price they would have charged 5 years ago. The new machine will need to be comparable to the 360 and Ps3 of today, if they’re not planning on overtaking it by leaps and bounds. The US is in a recession and Japan has been hit hard by natural disasters of late; it’s going to have to aim for the middle class, or else.

Controller

Nintendo is the prime innovator for controllers, and this time around looks to be no exception. The unconfirmed reports state that it will have a small screen built into the controller, but, my dear friend Ninty, this will not be enough on its own. Push the envelope, Ninty. It’s got to at least be a capacitive touchscreen, if not something fancier. Make the buttons be a part of the screen, give it a camera for AR functions, hell, make it project a fucking heads-up display into the air. Nintendo will need to continue to innovate in order to stay alive, period.

Also, for the love of god, dual fucking analogs please thanks. Enough said.

Internal Software

For once, Nintendo, you’ve got some catching up to do to match the innovations of other companies. The internal software on the Wii, frankly, was lacking. Sure I can look up the weather or the latest headlines, but these days, so can any phone. You’re not giving us anything we can’t already get faster and easier. The browser needs to be free, easier to access, and with HTML5 support. (While we’re at it, how about a goddamn ethernet port?)

Also, achievements achievements achievements. Sure, I’m an admitted achievement whore, but this is something you can’t skip anymore, Nintendo. MS and Sony have both jumped on this bandwagon, and even PC software platforms like Steam and Battle.net are running achievements now. You will be the only kid on the playground without a toy, Nintendo, if you don’t find a way to encourage or at least mandate this feature from your games.

Online

While we’re on the subject of catching up with others’ innovations, let’s talk online. Have a seat, Nintendo. Thank you for coming on such short notice. I need to talk with you about your online features, Nintendo. Frankly, we’re just not seeing the performance or commitment to your online that we’d like to see from you. Your reviews have been less than stellar in this particular part of your job, and to be perfectly frank, your continued employment with us will depend on your ability to meet this need. You’ve seen how it impacts the workplace and the other employees. Take a look at Microsoft over there. Sure, he might not have your history and experience, but he’s getting the job done with online, and you’ve seen how well that’s worked for him. Dedicated servers, dependable voice chat, easy-to-use friend system, a fucking ethernet port!… All of these things have made him successful. That Sony guy down on the third floor is catching up, too; he’s still got a ways to go, and I don’t think he’s quite got it right with this whole “Home” thing, but his effort is making him visible to the top brass and is driving his success. Hell, even that Apple GameCenter guy has at least 13 pieces of online flair. I’m going to have to ask you to come in on Saturday to work on this, and if it doesn’t get better anytime soon, maybe Sunday too.

Games

Every game system is about, well, games. (Unless you’re Sony, apparently.) Nintendo has ridden well on its franchise laurels, but it’s safe to say that the only things keeping the Wii alive throughout its tenure have been its first-party titles and the sheer amount of shovelware. Sure, the easy development cycle was attractive to developers, who could convert a flash game with ease, but the system as a whole was prohibitive to the major developers and their AAA titles. Any major title that ended up on all three systems generally saw an altogether-different development house working on the Wii version, usually with very different results. The result was a game system that the consumer had a hard time taking seriously. Gamers would always buy the PS3/360 version, given the option, because either the game was radically different, radically sub-standard, had poor graphics, or some combination of the above. Nintendo must cater to the major developers and their AAA titles in order to win back the hardcore audience. To set the bar, Bulletstorm 2, if it ever comes to fruition (and please Gawd let it come to fruition), will have to be on ALL 3 systems.

X-Factor

Every Nintendo system, especially these days, needs an X-Factor. Nintendo had the Control Pad. The SNES had an advanced control pad, superior graphics with Mode 7, and all the franchises that were relatively new updated to awesome levels. The N64 had 3D graphics. The Wii had movement-based controls. The Gamecube had… tiny discs? You see where I’m going with this? The one failed home console in Nintendo’s history did not have an X-Factor.

The X-Factor of the new system has barely been discussed, and unofficial reports claim there is something, although they do not say what. GameInformer reports that “Nintendo’s plans sound unreal” and that “publishers are already planning launch titles and it’s all very exciting.” Whatever this is, it’s going to have to appeal to the HARDCORE GAMER. I say this with heavy emphasis because it seems to be easy for Nintendo to forget these days. Sure, they could release something super-intuitive and accessible, but that doesn’t mean it will appeal beyond the casual or underage market. Choose your battleground carefully, Nintendo.

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So? Ball’s in your court, Ninty. And it wasn’t hit there by a cute little version of myself with cartoonish features. It was hit by a gigantic, highly-detailed, gruesome, acid-drooling monster. Are you going to knock it back at him? Or keep playing in the shallow end of the pool? I hear the kids there are vicious when it comes to balls.