Today, I’m here to talk with you about a member of our Game Show crew who doesn’t get nearly enough credit for all his hard work. First, a little set up.

In many ways, BreakmanX is like the Beatles of video game podcasts. Break is our Paul McCartney (pixie-like and whimsical), Q is our Lennon (Brooding, and his wife will one day want her own segment on the show, and it will cause turmoil), Richie is George Harrison (because I need it to fit with this analogy), and I’m Ringo Star because I came in last as was a fill in for Wiizer Jedi, who was Pete Best. And that would make Mecha…Tony Sheridan. We’ve come together, and through hardship we plan on bringing you the highest quality of entertainment that will eventually spark a cultural revolution, and shape a generation. The ladies will go ape-shit.

But, much like with the Beatles with Billy Preston, we have our own fifth, uncredited, member who, without which, the show would be an impossible dream. You all know him, you all love him. Let’s talk a moment about Satan.

Satan is an important member of our show, but also of the video game industry. Ask any conservative Christian, they’ll tell you, video games are born of Satan . He’s not just that guy who likes to interrupt Q’s rants during the show, and yell into the mic. He’s the cornerstone of entertainment.

His beginnings were humble. In secret, Satan loosed Pong upon the world, which then led to the ATARI. Back in these days, none would have imagined the hellish origins of video games, even with such clues as Demons to Diamonds lay throughout the industry. Many would assume this to be done this on purpose; a trap lay to crush as many souls as possible with the release of the video game E.T.

Those assumptions were correct.

Little by little, Satan has been increasing his influence in the video game world, until he recently took over the company EA, Electronic Arts, and utilizing its income derived from successful sports franchises, he will eventually buy out every smaller developer and control all video game software releases (Hellgate London, anyone?) . The only exception to this will be Nintendo, who are protected by Mario (an avatar for Jesus Christ).

While Satan may control all of the software in the world, what about the hardware? Well, did you know that Bill Gates is, in fact, the son of Satan? And he begat Microsoft, which then begat the Xbox! Another infernal machine made to bring you sinful pleasures and capture your soul! Well done, Satan. Now if the darn thing will just work long enough to get its job done…

Despite his amazing influence over the game market, filling titles with sex and blood, and then marketing it to children, Satan has had very few direct appearances in video games. Early in his career, Satan made an appearance in the game Devil World on the NES. Seeing early that Nintendo was not willing to play ball with his antics, he soon left to the world of PC games, where he would bide his time.

In his PC dominion, Satan would unleash hordes of his minions in Doom, and then Diablo, two of the largest PC franchises ever, to satisfy the bloody, carnal desires of game players everywhere. Doom has returned to the console market since then, and continues to be a stable source of blood and intestines for many gamers.

Now that Sony has become a staple game console, one can see a demonic influence on their devices as well. Many forms of the Nemesis can be found in the Castlevania game series, though always under the control of Dracula (it is fiction, after all).

Recently, the hordes of Hell can be seen in the series Devil May Cry, where even the protagonists are kissed by devilish lips and used infernal powers to save the day.

Satan’s presence is more directly felt in the dark RPG series Shin Megumi Tensei, especially in the installment Nocturne (known as Lucifer's Call in the UK).

The Dark Lord himself also made an appearance back on the PC, in the Adult Swim Flash game ‘Bible Fight’, where he battles such figures as Jesus and Moses, much to the disdain of Christians everywhere.

Despite loaning his minions out to so many games, an running a media empire, Satan still finds time to join us once every two weeks in the studio for The Game Show, and we couldn’t be happier. Take a moment to praise him here in the comments, and tell us your favorite moments where, while gaming, Satan came out and touched your life. Maybe it was during Guitar Hero 3 while playing Devil Went down to Georgia, maybe it was when summoning Diablos in Final Fantasy; but make no mistake he’s everywhere, and if you’re a gamer, he’s part of you.

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a guest said:

	Thank you satan! I'm a big fan of your work! keep doing what you do best.
	report abuse vote down vote up

July 01, 2008
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